


Body Terror

by sasukeapologist



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, sasuke hates himself but doesnt realize it, sasuke in the brain like yeah yeah remember this traumatic memory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29184948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasukeapologist/pseuds/sasukeapologist
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha stares at his body, but every passing moment he does, he can see his flaws burn through his skin and make themselves clear. He is weak, but he doesn't want to admit it.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Body Terror

Sasuke stares at himself in the mirror.

He hates his body.

He has probably never hated something more, he was entirely made of hatred so it wasn’t surprising.

He hated a lot of things, idiots, being weak, and his brother but hatred for his body was a different kind of hate. 

One he couldn’t fully understand, though it was there. It had always been there. Ever since he was younger, maybe before that thing no that fucking— that fucking, atrocity happened. He was always an introverted child, he didn’t have many people so he was always alone. He never thought of himself being quite good at making friends or keeping people close to him, it was always so hard and maybe it did take an effect on the way he viewed himself but it was all in the past.

It wasn’t even like he remembered that period of his life very much anyways.

Though, he does think that was a little of his fault. He did just… make himself forget, he looks at himself more. Looks and watches as his facial features shift into an irritated look, he doesn’t understand. He never quite did, it was all vaguely explained to him. He always thought he knew everything but further along he was just proved wrong.

He sighs, it feels like a weight of his lungs and chest. A weight that always seemed to be there if he thought about it enough but he never allowed himself to travel that deep into his thoughts, not that much anyways.

But today it was different, he allowed himself to venture into those deep thoughts of his own self hatred. 

Today, he stared and he continued to stare at himself in that mirror. He stares at the way his body tenses whenever he breathes in and lets go whenever he breathes out. Stares at the curse mark located on his skin, it was such an ugly thing, he knows why it’s there though.

So he couldn’t possibly hate it that much, could he? It was his fault that it was there, he deserved the consequences of that decision. 

His body was ugly and it was his fault.

It was all his fault.

Who else would he blame? His fucking brother for his body issues, god that was so stupid. The way he hated himself was stupid. Why? Why him? Of every fucking person on this earth why did he have to bare these issues.

He couldn’t even understand his anger, he just felt. He felt and felt and he was so overwhelmed with emotion he couldn’t see his lips pull back in a sneer and his fist clenched. 

Suddenly, the sound of glass shattering takes him from his present thoughts. 

He broke it. He broke the mirror, out of blinded rage and irritation. Irritation with himself? Would that even be the word, he couldn’t think. He could barely see, his vision was blurry but he wasn’t crying. God he couldn’t fucking cry, he didn’t want to.

Why would he cry? There was no point, there was no point in even feeling right now. It wouldn’t even matter later on, the only thing that mattered was his revenge. That was all, the only thing. He repeated this to himself, over and over again until those dull thoughts of his washed away and became bleak against his mind.

“Sasuke, are you alright in there” Sasuke’s eyes shifted towards the door, it’s one of those idiots from his team. 

He doesn’t say anything but he blinks once to clear his vision then once again to make sure. “We heard the noise, I came to check up on you” It was Suigetsu.

He doesn’t want to talk to him, he doesn’t want to fucking talk about it. He couldn’t even dream about telling Suigetsu anything nonetheless his problems, it was so ridiculous it made his blood coil. 

“Leave me alone” He didn’t want to see anyone, he didn’t think he could.

He trots over the glass, no longer caring about it, he can feel the glass sting into his skin and he collapses. Not that he wants to, but his body is so heavy.

“Sasuke?” Suigetsu is much louder this time, more confused and worried. “You’re not dead are you? You can’t be if you got assassinated in there that would be so lame, can you open the door?” he grabs the door handle.

“Leave” Sasuke says again, not as firmly. “Leave me alone Suigetsu, I’m fine”

There was a silence. A silence of uncertainty and he could still feel Suigetsu there, at the door. He doesn’t want to fucking see him. No one ever listens to him, they always do what they want. It pisses him off so much that he pushes himself off the floor. He doesn’t know why his body just fell, he suspects he's tired. Not weak, not dying. He’s fine, he just needs to lay down for a bit.

He also needs Suigetsu to leave him the hell alone. “I’m fine” he repeats himself, lower. More dangerously, as if warning the shark like teen of what he’s capable of.

Suigetsu is fully aware, he’s seen Sasuke be deadly and a threat. He still sees him as such, so he bites his tongue. “Alright” he leaves with a simple world and Sasuke can hear him.

He is alone. He is alone and he will always be, he falls back to his knees and he suddenly understands why he’s alone. He cannot indulge in this thought much longer as he is on the ground again. His eyelids become heavier as the seconds go by and then he no longer thinks.

Sasuke Uchiha hates himself.

**Author's Note:**

> My Naruto phase has been sparking again so i wanted to write some angst for Sasuke, my favorite, while I worked on some other stuff. I'm like 90% sure Sasuke has PTSD with the very little evidence I've gathered by rewatching Naruto so, heres a fic based off that headcanon.


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